The Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse are dangerous in any relationship. Criticism, contempt, defensiveness, and stonewalling are all patterns many of us are skilled at using because they protect us from getting hurt in our relationships; they are tools we use to deflect the real issues behind the conflict. Unfortunately, research conducted by Dr. John Gottman and colleagues have found significant detriment in utilizing any and all of these Horsemen in everyday relationships.
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hat is the first thing that pops into your mind when you think of your experience of COVID-19?
If it’s connected to anything related to SCARY, UNCERTAIN, ISOLATING, EERIE, DEPRESSING, LOSS, CHAOTIC, or VULNERABLE you are feeling what a lot of people are feeling right now. This is an extremely strange situation with a lot of unknowns. As human beings, we don’t do very well with ambiguity. In fact, ambiguity tends to fuel FEAR, one of the other words that might be occupying your mind.
Giving our time, efforts, and resources to others mutually benefits the giver and receiver; nothing new here, but the impact on mortality and lifelong satisfaction is really significant according to The Social Psychology of Generosity review of data on giving (Collett & Morrissey, 2007). When we give, we reduce mortality that might otherwise be compromised due to the constant stress we experience on a daily basis, which is ultimately also connected to a lot of chronic diseases many of us suffer from.
We all experience escalation, though some of us are more prone to fight and others to flight when we hit our emotional climax. Knowing our own fight, flight, and freeze response gives us more control. The more we know about what escalates us, how our body emotionally, physically, and cognitively responds sets us up for successfully getting through those challenging moments. With this awareness, we can then practice strategies to de-escalate ourselves.
The ACE (Adverse Childhood Experiences) study conducted in 1995 developed in response to doctors investigating why obese adults who lose weight end up dropping out of their weight loss program and putting all of their weight back on. Interested in examining any particular causes, the results of this study presented some surprising and incredibly helpful information based on the impact of how childhood background plays a role.
Nearly 40% of adults and almost 20% of children are obese in the United States according to the American Medical Association. This is a sizable increase from years past that has incredible ramifications on America’s health, mental health, healthcare, and mortality rates. It’s no secret. Doctor’s offices, mental health clinics, schools and a number of organizations are cracking down on educating kids and adults about this issue, as both a preventative and intervention strategy to reduce obesity rates.